3 weeks gone by...

Three weeks now, three weeks just moving through this foreign land, this foreign space, trying to make sense of emotions, thoughts, context, constantly musing, asking why.... why do I think this or that?  Why was that done like that?  Is it correct, the best way?  What is the best way?  Do I know what’s best?... And it goes on like that, sometimes in conversation with others, sometimes alone, in silence, my own quiet reflection.  

I enjoy the morning best, 0500h, only the call of roosters and sounds of insects outside, and I sit and drink my coffee.  The rest of the day is noisy - not in a bad way, just noise and movement - roommates getting ready, preparing food, chatting; the lodge staff working to cut grass (by hand with a machete), do laundry (line dry), sweep the grounds, make repairs, and so forth.  Once we head out for the day, there is talking and music, jostling against one another as we ride in a taxi or minibus down the road full of pot holes.  And there are people, people along every road, walking or sitting, moving or waiting, greeting one another, carrying heavy loads balanced on heads or teetering on bicycles, tiny babes tied securely to backs, and children running and playing - moving along just like I am.  And there is shouting, lovely children shouting, shouting to get our attention, and waving.  They yell “makua” - white man - and “How are you?”, to which “fine” is the best answer.  We wave and beam at one another as we move in the noise, adding to its volume and content.  And the language is sound too, low and softly spoken.  I’m trying it, to speak the language.  It is difficult, and I carry my list of words and phrases, practicing, listening for familiar words in nearby conversations.  This endeavour, however small and poorly pronounced, is sincere and has created simple, small flashes of connection, openness - a shared smile and a laugh.

It helps me to keep trying, when I don’t feel like trying, and it helps me get through the noise, shifting the unfamiliar to something familiar, creating a shared space.

Adia